


To Childe, With Love / To Sire, With Love

by Nadja_Lee



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Angst, M/M, Prose Poem, Self-Reflection, Short, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-06-21
Updated: 1999-06-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:47:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22970476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nadja_Lee/pseuds/Nadja_Lee
Summary: Angel and Spike think about their relationship with each other.
Kudos: 3





	To Childe, With Love / To Sire, With Love

To Childe, With Love

In all my existence

He is all I ever wanted

He is all I ever needed

And he is the only one I can never have

He is the source of all my pain

He is the source of all my love

He is all I think about

Sitting alone in the dark

I remember how

Badly I treated him

In the centuries gone by

Always pushing him away

I now know why I did that

My feelings towards him

Were so strong that they threatened

To overpower me

Even when I turned

When I felt all guilty

Over everything I had done

I never once regretted having sired him

But I still can’t tell him

How I feel

How I long to forget the world

In the safety of his arms

But I can’t

My soul won’t allow me

To claim what which

My foolish heart calls Mine

My love, My childe

To Sire, With Love

I always watched him

Admired him

Wanted him to notice me

Wanted his attention

Once I would have done

Anything for him

Kissed the sunlight

Reached for the bloody stars

Who am I kidding?

I would still do that

If only he would look at me

With love in his eyes

When I found him after all that time

My heart was aching with joy

Until he pushed me away

Like he always do

Only this was different

Before at least I knew

That some part of him liked me

What I did, what I am

But no, not anymore

In those deep brown eyes

There was only contempt

All hints of kindness gone

I froze my heart to him

Told myself I didn’t care

Told myself I hated him

But I know

I know that I will always

Love him

I can’t stop

He is everything to me

I try to make him go away

But this power he has over me

This desire I have to please him

Never stops

How I convince the world that

I hate him is beyond me

When I can’t even convince myself

Even less my heart

I hate feeling this alone

This abandoned

Damn, he always does this to me

He always leaves me

I would do anything to make him

Smile one smile at me

To say one kind word

To kiss me tenderly

But whom am I kidding?

That will never bloody happen

Whoever said that a broken heart

Could heal

Have no fucking clue what they were

Talking about


End file.
